Revenge
by Peggi J. Crawford
Summary: Not your typical ZADR...Dib has feelings for Zim? The humor is in the irony of it all, and as always, I have a lousy summary. Obey the fist, read the fic, pitiful earthmonkeys. . .and please review


Peggi-Heh, this isn't your typical ZADR, and it was written under the influence of sugar, so be afraid, be VERY afraid.

Disclaimer-Peggi doesn't own Invader Zim.

Zim-(uses nifty irken ray-gun thingies to sizzle the disclaimer)

Peggi-Yey! Dead disclaimers! Please R&R!!!

**REVENGE**

**Sunday Night**

Dib was in his room, drinking his soda, the last one in the refrigerator, and plotting ways to ruin Zim's plans. He had no idea what the alien was planning but whatever it was, it would fail. He heard his stomach growl and realized he hadn't eaten all day, so he walked downstairs and saw Gaz absorbed in her game, an open box of pizza sitting in front of her.

Gaz eyed her brother as he took a slice of pizza, but she was only 3 piggies away from her highest score. He ate the slice and was about to take another when he felt a bit dizzy. He went back upstairs and laid down on his bed. He must have fallen asleep, because that was the last thing he remembered for the night.

**Monday Morning**

Dib walked to Skool, looking up into the cloudy sky. He knew it would rain soon, which caused him to laugh inwardly when he noticed that Zim was wearily walking on the other side of the street, also distracted by the sky. Suddenly, without warning, there was a streak of lightning and the crash of thunder, and the rain began to come down in sheets. Zim looked around frantically for cover. True, bathing in paste did help with wetness, but in concentrated amounts, water was still painful and even fatal. Zim found an awning to hide under; one that extended from a building used as a retirement home. Dib crossed the street, a smirk on his face.

"What do _you_ want, Dib-human?" Zim asked, trying to pretend that he wasn't completely terrified of the rain.

"I want to see you suffer!" Dib laughed maniacally.

Dib grabbed Zim's arm and had every intention of flinging him out into the rain, but instead, went for the plan that seemed much more appealing at the time. He flung him _backwards_ and right into the wall, still under the awning.

"Dib-human? What is the meaning of thi-"

Zim's sentence was cut off as the Dib's lips pressed roughly against his. Zim's eyes widened in horror as he tried pulling away from the obviously overly-hormonal human. He struggled with no avail as he found Dib making their kiss a bit deeper by adding some tongue and suddenly there was laughter from behind them.

Both turned around to see Gaz under her umbrella.

"GAZ-HUMAN! GET YOUR BROTHER AWAY FROM ME!!!" Zim screeched, but Gaz simply laughed harder

"I had no idea you preferred guys, Dib." She walked off, and Dib was about to say something when he let go of Zim.

The alien took the advantage and ran off, rain or not, he needed to get away! Dib looked out into the rain, a very confused look on his face.

'Did I just. . .what just. . .'

"EW! I JUST KISSED AN ALIEN! ACK! HE'S POISONED MY BRAIN! AAAAHHHH!!!!!!" Dib screamed, falling to his knees, trying to understand what had just happened.

"Is something wrong, sonny?" an old man asked Dib, poking his head out the door.

"YES SOMETHINGS WRONG! I, DIB, THE ONLY HOPE FOR EARTH, JUST SHOVED MY TONGUE DOWN MY WORST ENEMY'S" . . .the man slammed the door shut.

"What a strange big-headed child that one was. . ." the old man said, returning to his game of poker where the other elderly people were betting false teeth and other. . .freaky old people things.

Back to Dib. He walked to Skool in the rain, _still_ trying to figure out what'd happened.

As soon as he walked into class, everything was normal, with the exception of Zim, who seemed overly-paranoid and had burn-marks in various places over his body, no doubt from the rain. Dib walked past Zim's desk and took his own seat, glancing at the alien through the corner of his eye. Zim tried to avoid looking at the human, and was failing miserably. He glanced over at him and 'eeped' when he realized that Dib had his head resting in his hands, elbows on the desk, and a daydreaming smile on his (me: ADORABLE!) face. Zim's eyes widened further when Dib waved at him shyly, much like a third-grade girl would wave at the boy she had a crush on. Dib even blushed slightly and Zim could have _sworn_ he heard him giggle.

Every now and then during class, Zim would turn his head slightly and see the Dib-human watching him with that same daydreaming face. . .it was enough to make even an AMAZING irken like Zim feel uncomfortable. Lunch time came around all-too-quickly for Zim, and he rushed into the cafeteria ahead of Dib. He took a seat in the far back, hoping Dib wouldn't notice him. That plan, like all of his others, failed.

"Zim!" Dib exclaimed, running up to him.

The fact that Dib seemed excited to see Zim gained the curiosity of half of the children there, and the other half were interested by the events that followed.

"LEAVE ME ALOOOONE! I JUST WANNA BE NORMAL!" Zim screeched, trying to walk away, but Dib wouldn't allow that.

Dib grabbed Zim's hands and looked him directly in the contact-covered eyes, and spoke as though he had the lead in a romance movie "Zim, I can't help the way I feel for you. I love you, Zim. I love everything about you! I don't care if you are an alien, and I don't care if you don't love me in return, but Zim. . ." Dib pulled Zim towards him and kissed him again, gaining 'eewwww's and 'yeck's from the other students.

From somewhere behind them was the evil laughter of Gaz, and Dib turned back around.

"You love Zim? So _that's_ why you spy on him! It's so you can get closer to your _lover_!" Gaz laughed.

Zim ran off again, leaving a fear-and-confusion-stricken Dib to try and figure out what he'd just said.

"I love Zim?" Dib questioned, but the way his voice had made it sound, it came out as more of a statement than a question, and more 'eeewww's and 'yeck's were heard.

Zim didn't return to class right away after that, and it was almost time to go home when he walked into class. He eyed Dib as he sat down, and the paranormalist looked up from his book and continued his newly-found hobby of staring at Zim with 'love' in his eyes. Mrs. Bitters walked out of the room for a few moment, and Dib used that to his advantage. He strode over to Zim's desk, followed by the odd stares of his classmates, and slammed his hands down on the alien's desk.

Afraid that the human would try to kiss him again, Zim squeaked and scooted back. Instead, Dib's eyes narrowed.

"What have you done to me, Zim?!" he screamed in the alien's face.

"Eh? Me? done something to you? You speak nonsense."

"Then why am I acting so. . .FREAKY around you?! Huh?! Explain it now, alien!" Dib was about to start beating the information out of Zim, but realized that wouldn't work well, now that he was kissing Zim. . .again. . .

as Dib pulled away, he saw Mrs. Bitters and Gaz standing behind them. Apparently, Gaz's class was there to watch a video called 'Schindler's list' with Dib's class (me: wow. . .what a morbid Skool) the rest of the day, Dib stared longingly at Zim.

Finally, (not soon enough for Zim's liking) the bell to go home rang. The irken high-tailed it out of there before Dib could catch up to him. Once Dib and Gaz got home, Dib approached his sister.

"Gaz, stop playing your game for a second. We. . .need to talk."

"About you being gay?" Gaz questioned, holding back laughter.

"Gaz, you don't understand! I think Zim did something to me! I hate him! But then there are these little moments where I say things and do things I don't want. Against my will! I think he's mind-controlling me somehow to make me. . .I don't know, embarrass myself?"

"Uh-huh. Can I finish my game now?"

"Gaz, please! You have to help me!"

"So does this mean you've learned your lesson?"

"Yes, I've learned my. . .my lesson? . . .Gaz?"

suddenly, it was all clear to him. . .

"_That's_ why I felt dizzy?! You drugged the pizza and put me under some sort of. . .of. . ."

"Here's the antidote. Now, if you EVER do anything like that again, I will find a _better_ more _cruel_ form of punishment." She glared.

"But what did I do?!" . . .as if answering his own question, realization dawned on him.

**Sunday Morning**

Gaz paused her GameSlave2, a rare occasion, but she had a valid reason. She opened up the refrigerator door and glanced in. her narrowed eyes narrowed some more, as little flames appeared in them.

"Dib drank the last soda. . .he. . .will. . .PAY!!!"

**END!!!**

Peggi-(shivers) remind me to NEVER make Gaz mad. . .the results are. . .evil. . .wow, so was that irony or what?

Legato-Feh, or what is what I'd like to know. How can you publish this piece of crap?

Peggi-You're just jealous because I'm a better writer than you (sticks her tongue out)

Dib-You made. . .and me and. . .how. . .did. . .and. . .

Peggi-(huggles him) all will be okay in the end, dibby-kins.

Zim-(brushing his teeth) that was the most disgusting thing I've ever been written into!

Peggi-No it's not. I've seen worse. Ahem. . .I think the idea of this was sparkled while reading a ZADR fic but I've read so many I just don't know which one! As I said in the beginning, though, this isn't your typical ZADR fic. (deep sigh) I love the pairing but I personally doubt I could actually write one. . .they'd end up killing each other off. . .

Dib-Sounds great to me.

Zim-You would get killed as well, Dib-human.

Peggi-(glomps both) Review please, or I will send my hordes of blue tiki-torch-wielding flamingoes after you!!!

Old man-Beware the flamingoes! (of doom!)

Just a Note: To clear up some confusion, about why the drug effected Dib only sometimes, the common thread was when Gaz was around it seemed to effect him. (under the awning, Gaz was around, in class at first it seemed like she wasn't but maybe she was ouside the door spying like a spyful little person, in the cafeteria, and then again when Gaz's class was in Mrs. Bitters' class.) As for WHY it only worked when she was around. . .I don't know. . .that didn't seem like an important part of my not-plot. . .


End file.
